Yuck, feel like crud today. Tired and weak and my hands are doing that overly-caffeinated shakey thing. Of course Bill (a fellow American teaching here, a Seattlite actually) is needling me about it being bird flu, which I know it isn't. But unamused regardless. The last thing I need is to get sick! Today I went to get a physical, required to get my teacher's license and work permit. It was perhaps the most perfunctory examination I've ever encountered. Not that I'm complaining. But it took all of five minutes and involved nothing more complicated than a stethoscope, so I can't help feeling that it would be almost impossible to fail. And I have to admit, there's a lazy little part of my brain that wishes I'd failed. "Maybe I've got a heart murmur!" says my little brain-part when he doctor lingers over checking my heart rate. Because then I could go home where it's easy and cool, without feeling like I'd given up or given in. Because I could never dream of throwing in the towel* at this early stage. I've hardly given in a chance, and I know it'll get easier. But if it wasn't my fault. . . . Not a productive way to think, really. And I like teaching, I really do. I'm just feeling lonely and more than a little overwhelmed, etc.

Great, this blog is supposed to be funny and I've turned it in to slop. Sorry. More funny Thai anecdotes to come.

*I learned the origin of "throw in the towel" today. Apparently, if a trainer or manager felt that a boxer was taking too much of a beating and wanted to withdraw him from the match, the trainer would throw a towel into the ring to alert the referee. Interesting, huh?