Brace yourself, Bridget. . .this is a long 'un
I've been told I talk too much about boys and food and sleeping and not enough about what I actually, um, do. So here is. . . . A Typical Day In The Life Of A Lazy But Idealistic English Teacher In Thailand.
6:45- Alarm goes off. I've cleverly put it across the room so I have to actually get out of bed to turn it off which I do quickly because it is the most annoying noise in the world, even more annoying than that shrieking noise Jim Carrey makes in that one scene in Dumb & Dumber that he calls the most annoying noise in the world. Then I moan and groan and rub my eyeballs and stretch and yawn and do my best to avoid wondering if my stuffed-up nose is bad enough to call in sick. Fail to avoid wondering if my stuffed-up nose is bad enough to call in sick. I ain't gotta lie to kick it, this is the worst part of my day and the only time wherein I seriously consider quitting this shit job and living on my parents' couch.
6:47- Turn on the BBC.
6:50- To the comforting sound of British accents describing car bombings and Kazakhstani elections, I hop in the shower. Actually, I turn on the shower and then wash my face and take my pills and vitamins while the water warms up. 35 years later, as I'm sending my youngest child off to college and cashing in my 401k, the water achieves lukewarm status. I shower to the music of my own shrieks and yelps. Have you ever shaved a goose-bumpy leg? It isn't very pleasant, especially at 7 o'clock in the morning.
7:05- Breakfast while watching BBC. This is usually a croissant from Tesco which isn't warm but is doughy and good. Sometimes some raisins too. Or a yogurt. And apple or grape juice. I've also recently discovered guava juice, which is quite good but takes a little getting used to. I like pineapple juice too. Any juice, come to think of it. Except tomato.
7:15- Clothes, hair and makeup. Much, MUCH faster than it was at home because it's too hot to wear a lot of makeup, I have to wear my hair up, and I hardly have any clothes. Tinted sunscreen, lip gloss, a swipe in the general direction of my lashes with waterproof mascara. Hair in a bun. Conservative button-up blouse or polo, just-below-knee-length skirt. I have become Condoleezza Rice. The BBC continues.
7:45- Down to the lobby for a cup or two of disgusting Nescafe with enough sugar and cream to send an elephant into insulin shock and a glance at The Bangkok Post, the only English-language newspaper around. Rarely anything more than vaguely interesting, but I'm following the unrest and flooding in the south in a half-hearted, look-I-do-TOO-care-about-the-plight-of-others kind of way.
8:00- Down the road to grab a motorbike taxi to school (Monday-Wednesday). Thursday and Friday I teach at a school right across the road, so I manage to walk. The motorbike taxi costs 30 baht, which is about 75 cents. This is approximately the time at which I start to feel less like the Dreaded Droopy Bog Monster and more like something kinda human. I'll admit it, even though you know I hate to prove my mother right about anything, once you get going, early mornings are not THAT bad.
8:30-11:30- Teach, usually two classes of an hour each. Monday is Prathom 1 and 2 (roughly equivalent to grades 1 and 2), Tuesday is Prathom 3, Wednesday is Prathom 4 and 5 (across town at Pakklong School), Thursday and Friday are both Prathom 6 (across the street at Wat Khot). Not a ton of work, but it's tiring. All that standing and yelling and playing and mostly, trying to explain things and searching for synonyms they might have come across in their schizophrenic and unpredictable previous English classes. I've had to overcome my anal urge to find the best, most correct word and started saying anything vaguely related to the word I'm trying to communicate.
11:30- Lunchtime, which I eat in the canteen with the other teachers. Cold rice and a variety of Thai dishes, sometimes delicious, sometimes inedible. It's hit or miss. Much using of hand signals, although I can say "mai pen" which means not very spicy, "nit noy" meaning a little, "mai hiuw" which is not hungry (if the food looks particularly heinous), and "arroy" (with a rolled r) which means delicious, as well as the general words for rice and stuff, and when paired with lots of smiles and nods or inquisitive tilts of the head, that more or less gets me through the meal. (I originally typed "inquisitive head cocks" but that made me giggle at the naughtiness of it all, so I changed it. And they're trusting me with the leaders of the future.)
12:30-3:30- Teach, usually another two classes for a total of four classes a day. Again, not a ton of actual work time, but it's draining. Draining but exhilerating (did I spell that right? I don't think so, but that's one of those words I have never been able to spell and, at 22, will probably never learn.) You know the feeling - you're tired and short-tempered and just want to go home but still full of ideas for the next time, still preoccupied with plans and improvements and problems.
3:30- Catch a songthaew, which is the Thai version of a bus. It's a pickup truck with benches in the back and a canopy over them. Costs 8 baht (otherwise known as an amount of money so small that in the US, I would probably throw it away rather than carry it around), and there are no stops. You just flag one down as it zooms by and bang on the window when you want it to stop. I catch a blue one outside my school, which takes me to the bus station where I grab a purple songthaew to my apartment complex, which is called Wiang Wallee. Love to say that. Weeee-ang Walleeeeeee. Sometimes I go grocery shopping at this time instead of going straight home, but that's boring even to me, so I won't go into it.
4:00- Enter my room, number 428. In quick succession, or sometimes all at the same time, I turn on the AC, take off my clothes, turn on my laptop, and open a bottle of Sprite.
4:04- Put already half-empty Sprite on the nightstand, flop backwards onto bed with a "whew."
4:05- Bitch aloud to self that bed is about as comfortable to flop backwards onto as a sidewalk, NOT that I've ever flopped backwards onto a sidewalk. That would indicate intoxication, wouldn't it, and I have never been intoxicated in my entire pure-as-snow-that-is-driven life.
4:06- Turn on some music and play a couple card games on my computer. Maybe write in my journal-DON'T-call-it-a-diary. Check if there's anything on the 6 English channels I get. There never is. Settle for the BBC because even if it's boring, British accents are scrumptious and do something nice to my insides.
4:40-Berate myself into at least pretending to work. I'll get out anything that needs to be graded + my grade book, or the nifty little lesson plan forms I invented and am inordinately proud of, and half-work, half-watch TV. Or play Solitaire.
6 or 6:30- Dinner time. I recently purchased an electric griddle thingy, which excited me beyond all reason. So sometimes I make noodles or some fish or anything that can be cooked in either a frying pan or a large-ish pot. Lots of soup. Sometimes, more frequently I think, I go to one of two restaurants; the one in the lobby of my building which has a seafood dish thingy that is de-lish, or one a few blocks away that has a vegetable-oyster sauce dish thingy that is also de-lish. I like going downstairs because I usually run into either Kristin or Bill, the other American teachers, and it's such a relief to speak normal English. I also like Sally, the Thai woman who is Queen of the Restaurant, because she teaches me Thai. Of course it all leaks out of my brain within minutes, but it's fun while it lasts. If I have no planning to do or I've finished it, I'll go to one of the street markets within walking distance. The outdoor markets here are amazing. They have everything. I've recently purchased a navel ring in the shape of a skull and crossbones (with pink stone eyes)(which I've wanted for ages), a pair of men's camouflage shorts (sooooo comfortable), and a compilation of Beatles love songs. At the same market.
7- Back home, more work. I let all my anal instincts run amok and usually plan my lesson to the smallest detail, along with possible problems, alternatives/backups, skills used, blah blah overachiever blah blee bloo. There's usually a movie in English on either channel 40 or channel 19 around this time, so I watch and work at the same time. With much shifting and bitching because my bummy bum bum gets numby numb numb. That is how hard my mattress is. I also often take this time to go for a walk, now that it's cool enough. If my walk just happens to take me behind the temple across the street, and if there just happen to be a little colony of homeless puppies there, and I just happen to have some dog food with me. . .well then, I'll feed and play with those freaking adorable little flea-ridden mongrels for an hour or so.
10:30- Time for beddy bed bed. Hopefully I'm done with all planning, worksheet creation, boring work-related matters. Wash face, brush teeth, etc etc. Take 1/2 a sleeping pill to keep me asleep all night. Me and sleep have a very volatile relationship. I need drugs to beat it into submission.
11-Lights out!
Lather, rinse, repeat.
6:45- Alarm goes off. I've cleverly put it across the room so I have to actually get out of bed to turn it off which I do quickly because it is the most annoying noise in the world, even more annoying than that shrieking noise Jim Carrey makes in that one scene in Dumb & Dumber that he calls the most annoying noise in the world. Then I moan and groan and rub my eyeballs and stretch and yawn and do my best to avoid wondering if my stuffed-up nose is bad enough to call in sick. Fail to avoid wondering if my stuffed-up nose is bad enough to call in sick. I ain't gotta lie to kick it, this is the worst part of my day and the only time wherein I seriously consider quitting this shit job and living on my parents' couch.
6:47- Turn on the BBC.
6:50- To the comforting sound of British accents describing car bombings and Kazakhstani elections, I hop in the shower. Actually, I turn on the shower and then wash my face and take my pills and vitamins while the water warms up. 35 years later, as I'm sending my youngest child off to college and cashing in my 401k, the water achieves lukewarm status. I shower to the music of my own shrieks and yelps. Have you ever shaved a goose-bumpy leg? It isn't very pleasant, especially at 7 o'clock in the morning.
7:05- Breakfast while watching BBC. This is usually a croissant from Tesco which isn't warm but is doughy and good. Sometimes some raisins too. Or a yogurt. And apple or grape juice. I've also recently discovered guava juice, which is quite good but takes a little getting used to. I like pineapple juice too. Any juice, come to think of it. Except tomato.
7:15- Clothes, hair and makeup. Much, MUCH faster than it was at home because it's too hot to wear a lot of makeup, I have to wear my hair up, and I hardly have any clothes. Tinted sunscreen, lip gloss, a swipe in the general direction of my lashes with waterproof mascara. Hair in a bun. Conservative button-up blouse or polo, just-below-knee-length skirt. I have become Condoleezza Rice. The BBC continues.
7:45- Down to the lobby for a cup or two of disgusting Nescafe with enough sugar and cream to send an elephant into insulin shock and a glance at The Bangkok Post, the only English-language newspaper around. Rarely anything more than vaguely interesting, but I'm following the unrest and flooding in the south in a half-hearted, look-I-do-TOO-care-about-the-plight-of-others kind of way.
8:00- Down the road to grab a motorbike taxi to school (Monday-Wednesday). Thursday and Friday I teach at a school right across the road, so I manage to walk. The motorbike taxi costs 30 baht, which is about 75 cents. This is approximately the time at which I start to feel less like the Dreaded Droopy Bog Monster and more like something kinda human. I'll admit it, even though you know I hate to prove my mother right about anything, once you get going, early mornings are not THAT bad.
8:30-11:30- Teach, usually two classes of an hour each. Monday is Prathom 1 and 2 (roughly equivalent to grades 1 and 2), Tuesday is Prathom 3, Wednesday is Prathom 4 and 5 (across town at Pakklong School), Thursday and Friday are both Prathom 6 (across the street at Wat Khot). Not a ton of work, but it's tiring. All that standing and yelling and playing and mostly, trying to explain things and searching for synonyms they might have come across in their schizophrenic and unpredictable previous English classes. I've had to overcome my anal urge to find the best, most correct word and started saying anything vaguely related to the word I'm trying to communicate.
11:30- Lunchtime, which I eat in the canteen with the other teachers. Cold rice and a variety of Thai dishes, sometimes delicious, sometimes inedible. It's hit or miss. Much using of hand signals, although I can say "mai pen" which means not very spicy, "nit noy" meaning a little, "mai hiuw" which is not hungry (if the food looks particularly heinous), and "arroy" (with a rolled r) which means delicious, as well as the general words for rice and stuff, and when paired with lots of smiles and nods or inquisitive tilts of the head, that more or less gets me through the meal. (I originally typed "inquisitive head cocks" but that made me giggle at the naughtiness of it all, so I changed it. And they're trusting me with the leaders of the future.)
12:30-3:30- Teach, usually another two classes for a total of four classes a day. Again, not a ton of actual work time, but it's draining. Draining but exhilerating (did I spell that right? I don't think so, but that's one of those words I have never been able to spell and, at 22, will probably never learn.) You know the feeling - you're tired and short-tempered and just want to go home but still full of ideas for the next time, still preoccupied with plans and improvements and problems.
3:30- Catch a songthaew, which is the Thai version of a bus. It's a pickup truck with benches in the back and a canopy over them. Costs 8 baht (otherwise known as an amount of money so small that in the US, I would probably throw it away rather than carry it around), and there are no stops. You just flag one down as it zooms by and bang on the window when you want it to stop. I catch a blue one outside my school, which takes me to the bus station where I grab a purple songthaew to my apartment complex, which is called Wiang Wallee. Love to say that. Weeee-ang Walleeeeeee. Sometimes I go grocery shopping at this time instead of going straight home, but that's boring even to me, so I won't go into it.
4:00- Enter my room, number 428. In quick succession, or sometimes all at the same time, I turn on the AC, take off my clothes, turn on my laptop, and open a bottle of Sprite.
4:04- Put already half-empty Sprite on the nightstand, flop backwards onto bed with a "whew."
4:05- Bitch aloud to self that bed is about as comfortable to flop backwards onto as a sidewalk, NOT that I've ever flopped backwards onto a sidewalk. That would indicate intoxication, wouldn't it, and I have never been intoxicated in my entire pure-as-snow-that-is-driven life.
4:06- Turn on some music and play a couple card games on my computer. Maybe write in my journal-DON'T-call-it-a-diary. Check if there's anything on the 6 English channels I get. There never is. Settle for the BBC because even if it's boring, British accents are scrumptious and do something nice to my insides.
4:40-Berate myself into at least pretending to work. I'll get out anything that needs to be graded + my grade book, or the nifty little lesson plan forms I invented and am inordinately proud of, and half-work, half-watch TV. Or play Solitaire.
6 or 6:30- Dinner time. I recently purchased an electric griddle thingy, which excited me beyond all reason. So sometimes I make noodles or some fish or anything that can be cooked in either a frying pan or a large-ish pot. Lots of soup. Sometimes, more frequently I think, I go to one of two restaurants; the one in the lobby of my building which has a seafood dish thingy that is de-lish, or one a few blocks away that has a vegetable-oyster sauce dish thingy that is also de-lish. I like going downstairs because I usually run into either Kristin or Bill, the other American teachers, and it's such a relief to speak normal English. I also like Sally, the Thai woman who is Queen of the Restaurant, because she teaches me Thai. Of course it all leaks out of my brain within minutes, but it's fun while it lasts. If I have no planning to do or I've finished it, I'll go to one of the street markets within walking distance. The outdoor markets here are amazing. They have everything. I've recently purchased a navel ring in the shape of a skull and crossbones (with pink stone eyes)(which I've wanted for ages), a pair of men's camouflage shorts (sooooo comfortable), and a compilation of Beatles love songs. At the same market.
7- Back home, more work. I let all my anal instincts run amok and usually plan my lesson to the smallest detail, along with possible problems, alternatives/backups, skills used, blah blah overachiever blah blee bloo. There's usually a movie in English on either channel 40 or channel 19 around this time, so I watch and work at the same time. With much shifting and bitching because my bummy bum bum gets numby numb numb. That is how hard my mattress is. I also often take this time to go for a walk, now that it's cool enough. If my walk just happens to take me behind the temple across the street, and if there just happen to be a little colony of homeless puppies there, and I just happen to have some dog food with me. . .well then, I'll feed and play with those freaking adorable little flea-ridden mongrels for an hour or so.
10:30- Time for beddy bed bed. Hopefully I'm done with all planning, worksheet creation, boring work-related matters. Wash face, brush teeth, etc etc. Take 1/2 a sleeping pill to keep me asleep all night. Me and sleep have a very volatile relationship. I need drugs to beat it into submission.
11-Lights out!
Lather, rinse, repeat.
posted by Laura at
7:44 PM
1 Comments:
Yes, you spelled it wrong.
And shutup about my hair, I have no goddamned money to get a haircut. I barely have enough to buy the precious alcohol required on a daily basis! WINK WINK.
But really I lost my cards so I got no money. Mom is sending me new cards, when they get here, I'll probably cut my hair, and maybe get a perm to celebrate! (/gay) (I originally put the / gay with these ><, but when I tried to publish it told me that "Su HTML no es aceptable: Tag is not allowed." No shit, asswipes.)
Sounds like a pretty rough day, but you are getting through it :D. Good luck with everything!
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