Plus now I've flooded the market with my autograph
I've found that my energy, endurance, and patience expands and contracts to cover only what is absolutely necessary. Meaning that by 3:30 Friday afternoon I could not take one more nanosecond of work. Just one more rapid Thai question when I've told them 8 bajillion times I don't speak Thai, one more totally blank stare (Thai children are masters of the blank stare. It's like an art form here.), one more "Teachuhhh byootyfull" and I will go completely blinking bonkers. Bonkdaddy. Bonk-a-doodle-doo. Bonk-bonk-bonkarooney.
Well, I could always take another "Teachuuh byootyfull." But NO MORE BLANK STARES!
This week "friendship books" have materialized in all my students' backpacks. These are like the autograph books of old, though I'm unclear about why. It isn't the end of the term, and I can think of no other sane reason to force near-strangers to write inane good wishes, along with phone numbers, in overly-illustrated cardboard books. But sanity does not seem to be highly valued here.
Students were nearly frothing at the mouth to get me to sign their friendship books after school today, which was sweet. If it had been Tuesday, or even Wednesday, I would have thought it was adorably idiosyncratic, another charming anecdote to relate with just the right touch of amusement tempered by fondness.
But it wasn't Tuesday. It was Friday afternoon, and I was very very tired, and very very sweaty, and very very much over being surrounded by giggling incomprehensible conversations, being offered really gross candies/flour-covered rat pellets, and pantomiming entire scenes from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. I just wanted to go home.
But no, the kids wanted a farang message in their friendship books, and a farang message they would get. I'm not so much of a humbug that I could refuse a cheap pink book covered with teddy bears and sayings like "Friendship is the good of heart love!" and "Don't leave for friends with no love!" (My favorite was clearly written by someone with a large vocabulary but a small dictionary; "Friendship is the sharing of prejudice of the existence!" Classic.)
So I signed a lot of "friendship books." How many? Well, I have 372 students at this school, and my right hand feels like at least 80% of them wanted a farang signature. I wrote some variation of "Keep up the good work!" more times than I would have imagined was possible. And the books just kept coming until I felt the shriek well up in my throat.
"I ain't yer friend, biatches! I'm a goldurned English teacher, in a position of authori-tay here, so SIDDOWN and SHUDDUP!!!"
I'm awfully glad it's the weekend.
Well, I could always take another "Teachuuh byootyfull." But NO MORE BLANK STARES!
This week "friendship books" have materialized in all my students' backpacks. These are like the autograph books of old, though I'm unclear about why. It isn't the end of the term, and I can think of no other sane reason to force near-strangers to write inane good wishes, along with phone numbers, in overly-illustrated cardboard books. But sanity does not seem to be highly valued here.
Students were nearly frothing at the mouth to get me to sign their friendship books after school today, which was sweet. If it had been Tuesday, or even Wednesday, I would have thought it was adorably idiosyncratic, another charming anecdote to relate with just the right touch of amusement tempered by fondness.
But it wasn't Tuesday. It was Friday afternoon, and I was very very tired, and very very sweaty, and very very much over being surrounded by giggling incomprehensible conversations, being offered really gross candies/flour-covered rat pellets, and pantomiming entire scenes from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. I just wanted to go home.
But no, the kids wanted a farang message in their friendship books, and a farang message they would get. I'm not so much of a humbug that I could refuse a cheap pink book covered with teddy bears and sayings like "Friendship is the good of heart love!" and "Don't leave for friends with no love!" (My favorite was clearly written by someone with a large vocabulary but a small dictionary; "Friendship is the sharing of prejudice of the existence!" Classic.)
So I signed a lot of "friendship books." How many? Well, I have 372 students at this school, and my right hand feels like at least 80% of them wanted a farang signature. I wrote some variation of "Keep up the good work!" more times than I would have imagined was possible. And the books just kept coming until I felt the shriek well up in my throat.
"I ain't yer friend, biatches! I'm a goldurned English teacher, in a position of authori-tay here, so SIDDOWN and SHUDDUP!!!"
I'm awfully glad it's the weekend.
posted by Laura at
8:22 PM
2 Comments:
See, I'm writing you a comment, aren't you happy?!?
You'll love this; we went to see "Tristan & Isolde," last night in PG, and the only other people in the audience were 30 hormonal 15 year old girls bused (?) in from Santa Catalina School...sitting DIRECTLY behind us. When Tristan as a man first materialized, they all let out what Chris later called a, "Catalinagasm." He said he's never been so uncomfortable in a movie theater in his entire life... :-) Too funny. Movie was okay, though, once the girls got over their upped estrogen levels and just watched the movie. Love ya!
"Catalinagasm."
Fucking priceless.
As was the, "Loving is the sharing of prejudice blah blah blah's." I always see stuff like that here and I am almost compelled to offer my services as a translator.
Bo
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