T to the HOE

I spent the better part of ten years shoveling mulch this morning. The entire bed of my former Teal Ranger was filled with sneeze-inducing bark dust. Yes it's a small truck, but still. I fit two kegs and seven or maybe even eight people in there when I was a freshman in college. That's a lot of ground-up dead trees! It had to be shoveled out and spread around 1200 acres of these ice-plant wormlings recently installed on the hill-like edge of my yard. Which meant the truck had to be maneuvered around the corner of my house, blocking the road half the time. Which meant, of course, that everyone who lives near me plus all their cousins and aunties and old family friends had to drive that particular stretch of road on this particular morning. I was quite frustrated. Let's just say there is a very, very good reason they won't give me a network reality show.

On a happier but no less profane note, I'm going to Kelly "Bo Belly" King's house tomorrow, for a delayed birthday party. Much Coors Light and Jager will be consumed, many drunk dials will be, uhh, dialed, many Bennys will be punched if their tongues get anywhere near my ears. I am talking about a 5 foot radius here. Seriously.

So probably no posts until Friday or Saturday. Try not to be too disappointed. If it'll cheer you up, you can come to the Flea Market with me at the butt-crack of dawn on Saturday. I have the unenviable task of putting together an outfit entirely from that Graveyard of Broken Radios. Considering the only things I've bought at the Flea Market include a three-foot high inflatable Jager bottle and a freestanding lavender sink, I think this might be an interesting outfit.