Eddie Bauer vs. Bangkok, Round 1

Back in June, before the birth of this blog, when I was still planning to move to LA, I interviewed for a job with Eddie Bauer. Didn't get it, which helps explain the whole teaching-in-Thailand thing. And now, because I have other plans and don't need their stinking job, they call me back and say they have a job for me after all. It's a pretty good job and, although I haven't gotten a formal offer, I talked to the regional manager for Southern California for an hour this morning, and it seems like a sure thing. AND IT PISSES ME THE HELL OFF. Why couldn't she have offered me this job in June, when I needed it and wanted it and would have jumped at the chance to make mid-$30,000's as a manager for Eddie Bauer, as pathetic as that is? It's a pretty great opportunity, but there's no way I can accept it now. I wouldn't want to give up Thailand and teaching and learning and feeling like I'm DOING SOMETHING WORTHWHILE. It's just the irony is painful.

And the little part of my brain that is completely materialistic (okay, the medium-sized part of my brain) is going, "You are going to make a cool $6,000 as a teacher in an inpenetrably foreign country when you could be making $33,000, working in fashion, in sunny Los Angeles? Have you been SMOKING those anti-depressants?"

And then a different part of my brain (I'm not sure what part it is, I think the overly Mom-influenced part) says "You have a chance to make a difference in the world and have a unique experience and travel the world and stop being so fashion- and celebrity-obssessed and you're thinking about giving it up to work in retail? You don't even like retail!"

And then the rest of my brain, the regular me-part, says "Everything both of you are saying is true! I want to travel and do something different, but this company is offering me a real career, room to move up, the means to move to LA, which I've wanted to do. But then again, I'm not crazy about retail and it's in City of Commerce and isn't that the ghetto? And do I really want to live in LA? And do I really want to live in Thailand? What about Sid. . .if I go to LA, I wouldn't have to leave him. But I shouldn't base these kind of decisions on a dog. Or should I? And it isn't like working for Eddie Bauer helps the world AT ALL. For all I know, they could be running sweatshops employing the very kids I could have the opportunity to teach and hopefully help. But would I really help?"

And then my psychiatrist says, "Wow, you're crazier than I thought."