If it gets any longer, I'm going to need a whip and a chair

I am getting my hair cut today, and I'm having a minor panic attack about it. For anyone who hasn't encountered The Hair That Could Eat You Alive. . .well, let's just say it really could. Eat you alive, I mean. I have a lot of long, thick, crazy hair. My hair has a mind of it's own. Several minds, probably, and they all have multiple personality disorder. It's nearly to my waist and curly and thick and even though I complain endlessly about it, do I really want to chop it all off? Urrgghh, I don't know what to do. I'm specifically worried that if I cut it, it will spring up into an Afro-style bushy thing, which isn't in itself bad but with my chipmunk cheeks and round little face, it might make me look like a pumpkin head. Which isn't a good look.