Hump THIS

Anyone who knows me knows I have a serious aversion to working. 9-to-5 (or in the case of this week and next week, 8-to-8) has never been my style. I don't have that kind of staying power.

So I've decided to invent side-effect-free crack. Admittedly, I'm no chemist and so maybe this is a way off, but I need an injectable, smokeable, or pill-formable substance that is going to give me unlimited amounts of energy, ambition, and drive, without the brain damage, ulcers, liver damage, etc, and I need it NOW.

Getting myself out of bed to go to school this morning, on this, only my THIRD day of working full time, was quite possibly the HARDEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE. I'm only exaggerating a tiny bit when I say it took nearly forty minutes to shame myself out of calling in sick/injured/tired/crazy. Because I'm an Adult, and I have Responsibilities, and I Need To Be Mature, and anyway it was too early in the morning for me to think of a truly plausible excuse.

Of course, it's not just the getting out of bed. If I had to get out of bed at 6:30 am to, say, go to the beach, I'm sure I would moan and groan a bit but I certainly wouldn't seriously consider telling someone I sprained my toe. (Speaking of which, is it possible to sprain your toe? Because if it is, I totally have.) But KIDS? Who don't speak English? Teaching 5th graders who may or may not give a rat's ass about hearing what you have to say, and if they do care it's only because they've never seen a farang woman up close before, IS NOT ANYTHING LIKE GOING TO THE BEACH.